Happens all the time

I’m blogging from my bed with a thermometer under my armpit and tissue paper inside my nose. I’m obviously sick and I had to cancel my treatment yesterday because I couldn’t with my condition. So here I am stuck in bed with my awesome Labrador. 

I get sick fast. Fast in a sense that, once I start feeling weird or ill, the next day I wake up, I’m running a fever. Recovery time is long. My fever would run for days and my cold stays for weeks due to my allergy or just my weak immune system. It sucks. 

I live alone in a 48 sq. m. studio type apartment with a huge dog and friendly neighbors. I love living alone mainly because, I could pretty much do everything that I want. I could dress up like a hobo, or look like a stripper in just my panties and bra or dress like an eskimo during the cold rainy nights. I could eat everywhere, work everywhere, pick my nose whenever and wherever I want, fart like there’s no tomorrow, stay up late at night, scratch my itch any time of the day, sing like I’m Whitney Houston and dance like an awkward penguin. 

Most of all, I could hide from all the people when I’m extremely sick. I like keeping it to myself and not bother anyone with it..well except for my sister and BFFs who always know when I’m sick. It’s hard. People pity me, so I’d rather get sick alone with my awesome dog. 

Whenever I get sick, it’s either I get all emotional or numb. I ignore the fact that I’m sick and like meh, but when it starts to worsen, I get scared and tired of it. I get these morbid thoughts in my head like “I’m so tired of this.. Can I just die..?” 

It’s not healthy. It’s bad and I try my best to stay positive during those times. I entertain myself by watching tv, daydreaming, talk to my dog, call my little munchkins(nephews), email and text my bffs and listen to music. If all of those don’t work, I give up and give in to my sadness, get all depressed and shit. I let all my bad thoughts sink in and cry. I’d feel so much better after. 

I live a very challenging life. Everyday is always a struggle. But I’m grateful for every day. I’m not as religious as my mom but I know He’s always up there watching over me. 

“Para kanino ka gumigising?” 

It’s from a coffee commercial that really affected me. For whom do you wake up? I fell into a very deep thought.. For whom do I wake up..? Then a thought hit me. 

I wake up for my dog. LOL

I wake up for my dog to be able to feed and open the bathroom door so he could do his business. Then after, I’d go on with my life. So you see, my dog is very important because he starts my day. 

Image

I love food.

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